Supporting a Partner Through Redundancy

Understanding the impact

Redundancy affects the whole household, not just the person who lost their job. Your partner may be experiencing shock, anger, sadness, or loss of confidence. They might withdraw, become irritable, or seem like a different person.

These reactions are normal responses to job loss. Understanding this can help you respond with patience and compassion.

What to say (and what not to say)

Helpful phrases

"I'm here for you"
"This isn't your fault"
"What do you need from me right now?"
"It's okay to feel upset"
"We'll get through this together"

Avoid saying

"Everything happens for a reason" - this can feel dismissive
"At least you got redundancy pay" - focuses on positives before they're ready
"Just apply for more jobs" - they might not be ready yet
"I know how you feel" - even if you've been made redundant, everyone's experience is different

Practical ways to help

In the first week

Give them space to process if they need it
Take over additional household tasks without being asked
Encourage them to maintain routines (eating, sleeping, exercise)
Don't pressure them to start job hunting immediately

In the following weeks

Help them create structure in their day
Offer to review their CV or practice interviews
Celebrate small wins (updating LinkedIn, completing an application)
Encourage them to maintain social connections

Managing finances together

Have an honest conversation about money

Sit down together when you're both calm and review:

Current savings and redundancy pay
Essential expenses vs things you can reduce
Benefit entitlements
How long you can manage on savings

Frame it as "we're in this together" rather than "you need to find a job quickly". Having a plan can reduce anxiety for both of you.

UK financial support resources

MoneyHelper - free, impartial money advice: moneyhelper.org.uk
StepChange - free debt advice: 0800 138 1111
Citizens Advice - budgeting help: citizensadvice.org.uk

Recognising when they need professional help

Watch for signs that your partner might benefit from professional support:

Not getting out of bed or basic self-care declining
Withdrawing from all social contact for more than a few weeks
Expressing hopelessness or thoughts of self-harm
Turning to alcohol or other substances to cope
Severe anxiety or panic attacks

How to suggest getting help

Approach the conversation gently:

"I've noticed you've been struggling lately. I'm worried about you. Would you consider talking to someone? I can help you find support."

UK support services for your partner

NHS Talking Therapies - self-referral, free: Find local service
Samaritans - 24/7: 116 123
Mind - Monday-Friday 9am-6pm: 0300 123 3393

Looking after yourself

Supporting someone through redundancy can be emotionally draining. You might feel anxious about money, frustrated by their low mood, or exhausted from trying to help.

Remember to

Maintain your own social life and hobbies
Talk to friends about how you're feeling
Set boundaries if your partner's mood is affecting your wellbeing
Recognise you can't "fix" their feelings - being present is enough

Relationship support services

Relate

Relationship counselling for couples: 0300 003 0396
Website: relate.org.uk
Offers phone, video, and in-person counselling (fees apply, but reduced rates available)

Relationship Scotland

For couples in Scotland: 0345 119 2020
Website: relationships.scot

The recovery journey

Most people do recover from redundancy, though it takes time. Your steady support, patience, and understanding can make a significant difference in their journey.

Be prepared for ups and downs. Some days will be better than others. Celebrate progress, no matter how small, and remember that your role is to be supportive, not to solve everything.